I have been flying under the radar the past couple weeks. I’ve just been feeling very uninspired to write. It’s not that I have had nothing to say…I have plenty to say. I guess it was more that I was feeling very overwhelmed and emotional. I’ve noticed that since I stopped taking birth control February 25th, I have just been a hot mess…more than usual.
Some people have asked me why the hell would you stop taking birth control?! Take a chill pill ya’ll. I’m not trying to get pregnant….you know I don’t want kids. I have my reasons.
This was not an uninformed random decision. I was on birth control for 16 years, from the age of 15. I had the worst periods ever. Every month I would miss a full week of school…sounds awesome right?!?! Wrong! I would have a fever, vomiting, debilitating cramps so bad that I could barely walk and heavy bleeding for seven days exactly. And then, my doctor put me on birth control to help that and it helped so much. My periods became more manageable and less painful.
And for the last five years, I have been taking continuous birth control…meaning no periods. I had a sweet blissful no period life. It was amazing. I never missed them. Not once. Never. I do have the mindset that…why should I be punished for not being pregnant? I am not one of those people who likes getting a period to know I’m not pregnant…I’d rather skip it and just be happy without it. Like I have been for the last five years.
I love birth control…it’s my friend. I miss it a lot. I thought about stopping it for months before I went through with it. Because I started feeling concerned about how it might be impacting my health… I had been hearing a lot of stories about women with chronic illnesses having issues that seemed to be exacerbated by birth control. So it was on my brain.
I have to take care of myself. That’s my resolution…self-care. Even if that means stopping birth control for now, for awhile or for always… I have to do what is best for my health. period. (ha…punny)
A month ago, I went to see my gynecologist for my annual (something all of us who have a uterus just love), and I discussed it with her because I was on the fence about it. But then another reason I should stop it came to light. Somehow we started talking about my migraines. She asked if I have visual auras…why yes, yes I do. She said okay well then you have to stop taking it. Apparently, if you take the estrogen pill and have migraines with visual auras, there is an increased risk of stroke. I didn’t always have visual auras. I have had migraines since I was 18, so for 13 years, but the auras started just a couple years ago. My gyno said there’s your decision.
I threw out all my pills and have been birth control free since then.
My gyno did tell me that if in a couple months I decide getting off birth control didn’t help and I want to get back on then she will prescribe me a progesterone pill instead of the estrogen because of the migraine/stroke situation.
My friend, Shelby, told me about Evening Primrose Oil– which is a supplement that can help balance hormones and ease symptoms of PMS and menopause, among other things. So I started taking that in hopes that it might help. But being the sensitive gal that I am, I prefer to start at a low dose and work my way up. I started at one 500mg capsule daily and slowly I have worked my way up to one 500mg capsule three times a day.
And I surprisingly got my period almost exactly one month after I stopped the pill. This surprised me because I don’t think of my body as healthy enough to have a period. But just because I have one now does not mean I will have on regularly. So we shall see what happens going forward.
Since stopping the pill, I have noticed a reduction of IC symptoms and an increase in migraine symptoms. I have had less burning and general flaring in my bladder, although that was mostly when I was PMSing and on my actual period. So it’s possible that my body couldn’t focus on both my period and my IC at the same time and just had to pick one.
I think it’s really interesting that my IC symptoms have lessened. Will it last? I have no idea. It is way too early to tell. And my physical therapist agreed with me that it’s possible my body just decided to focus more on the pain of my period because that was more painful and shocking than my IC pain at this point in time. After all, I’ve gone five years without a period…but I’ve had IC pain for two years straight. So my body was probably just like…ugh sick of this pain let’s focus on this pain now!
The migraines have steadily been getting worse, along with my visual auras. Birth control plays a huge role in migraines and can even cause migraines. But it seems all the fluctuations in my hormones is really impacting my migraines now. So today I went to see my primary doctor who works with me on my migraine meds and we increased my daily migraine preventative medication. So hopefully that will help. *fingers crossed*
But let me really tell you what life has been like post-birth control. I can sum it up in one word…pineapple. It’s been pure hormonal chaos. I have been a crazy hormonal mess since then. Don’t get me wrong…I am always an emotional person. But this is a whole new level of emotional for me. I have strong cravings for foods I can’t and shouldn’t eat. I am breaking out…I have had more pimples on my face than I ever had before. I have mood swings in an instant. Birth control helped regulate all of that. OMG I miss it so much.
Aaron has had to put up with my crazy hormonal imbalances and this could go on for awhile…after being on birth control for 16 years, it can take anywhere from 3 months to 1 year for hormones to balance back out again. He has really been a champ…for the most part. He has been weathering this storm. And we even created a safe word for the occasions when I am just beyond hormonal and just can’t even. And that safe word is…you guessed it…pineapple. So when I say pineapple that means he knows to back off or something terrible might happen to either one or both of us.
Hormones are a bitch to control. It’s been so long since I have had to deal with them. I miss my birth control… so much. But I look forward to the healthful possibilities.