This is my journey down the path of invisible chronic illness and learning how to self-care. I have interstitial cystitis, chronic migraines, hashimoto's and more. But in between all the chronic illnesses, I have a life…kind of. -Rachel Bob
It’s a new year already. 2017. Wow. How does that even happen? The whole year flew by.
Almost two years ago this March I was diagnosed with IC.
One year ago this past December I met my boyfriend, Aaron. And on January 14th will be our one year anniversary, which is crazy because it definitely feels like 6 years.
I am almost 31 years old; on January 18th. This is not where I expected to be at this point in my life. I’m not exactly sure where I expected to be. But I promise you it did not involve me starting a blog chronicling my journey with chronic illness. But here I am. I have given up so much in the last few months to be right here in this exact moment. These chronic illnesses have kicked me until I was down and then pounced on me some more. I’d just like to take a moment and image what that would look like. I’m picturing a little brain (representing migraines) and a little bladder just jumping up and down on top of me.
Anyways…back to the point, I never thought this would be me. Being forced to give up the goal and passion of mine that I have been working towards for years because of my health. It is heart-wrenching. Whenever I think about it I can’t help but cry. I will get into this more later…it’s still a very raw topic for me.
The only positive is that I am still in graduate school for Social Work and I have decided I want to add public health as a specialty so that I can work with and advocate for people who have chronic illnesses.
I just finished my first semester of grad school. Go me! In the Social Work program at Gallaudet University. But in the course of one semester…so much has changed.
The workload of three graduate-level MSW courses was a lot more than I anticipated. I had to stop working and doing volunteer work. I only worked part-time on a freelance schedule and same with volunteer work. But my health tanked and fast during this past semester. My pain levels for my IC and migraines were off the charts.
And just as all this was happening my insurance company decided I don’t need my IC medication, Elmiron, anymore. Elmiron is on the only FDA approved med on the market specifically for IC and because of that it is very expensive at $3 per pill and I take 3 pills per day. Elmiron coats the bladder to give it a protective lining and it takes months (3-6 months) to work; I was on it for about a year. My insurance claims that I said it doesn’t help me, which isn’t true, they are just making stuff up because they don’t want to pay for it anymore. It is now in the appeal process. So my urologist will have to convince the insurance doctor that I need this medication. Which is insanity since I don’t know this person at all.
And let me just say when I came off the Elmiron, I felt it. It hurt more than anything ever. First I was so tense I couldn’t pee and I would sit on the toilet for minutes at a time just trying to relax my pelvic floor muscles enough (that’s what physical therapy is for, will discuss later) to actually pee. And finally, when I did pee, it burst out like molten hot lava and I just felt like I had to be urinating out the protective lining of my bladder…for days.
But there is a natural alternative called Marshmallow Root; similar to Elmiron in that it coats the bladder with a gelatinous coating to protect it. Many people who can’t afford Elmiron or decide to go on a more natural path, use Marshmallow Root instead. I have been taking the MR capsules 2 capsules 2x/daily. and drinking MR tea. The pain from coming off the Elmiron has subsided, so I’m just back to my usual pain.
I don’t know if and when my insurance will decide to approve me taking Elmiron again but I’m not sure I want to. I think I might want to stay with MR for awhile and take a more holistic approach. Which leads me to my next plan of action…drastic lifestyle diet change
My health is in peril. Clearly, whatever is happening, my body is screaming at all full force for help. And I have to listen because I can’t live this way.