Uncategorized

At least you have your health… oh wait.. no you don’t… my bad.

image-Sorry you're sick again and have invisible chronic illnesses and are so behind in school ... but at least you have your health.. oh wait..
Sorry, you’re sick again and have invisible chronic illnesses and are so behind in school … but at least you have your health … oh wait…

The last two weeks have been rough. Reid, Aaron and I have been varying degrees of sick with a terrible stomach virus. It hit the two of them first and took me down last and hardest. Save the best for last??? ehhhh…. I spent this whole week in bed. Now I’m finally up and about. Trying to get back to life…No easy feat.

Seriously as if things aren’t hard enough… life seems to want to kick me when I am already down. And I just keep thinking…I couldn’t make this stuff up if  I tried. It is all just so ridiculous that it has to be true… because nobody has all the nonstop issues that I have had over the last two years…not just health, but also related to my family and other relationships. Not to say everything is always terrible … but I’m just saying..kick me while I’m down why don’t you…sheesh. 

First of all, I have been seeing a new practitioner named Ruth Kriz who is known in the IC community. You can google her if you want to know more about her but I found out that she is local to the DC area and felt that it was a sign that I should go see her. Ruth’s theory is that IC is a deeply embedded infection or infections in the bladder wall; coupled with other health issues. I originally saw her last month for my initial appointment. I then had to get a ton of blood work and urine work done.

So I actually saw Ruth this past Tuesday, where she gave me the results of my lab work.  It turns out I have E. Coli in my bladder. Embedded infection anyone??? mhm. I also have Mycoplasma pneumoniae, which is another kind of bacteria and it could be because I recently had bronchitis or can be related to the IC. Either way, Ruth is treating both. She is treating the E. Coli with the antibiotic, Bactrim and the mycoplasma with a herbal remedy called A-Myco. 

I am also deficient in Vitamin D, which isn’t surprising since my mom is as well. But Ruth said it is very common for IC patients to be Vitamin D deficient and that is bad because vitamin D helps us repair our body and heal our immune systems. So I will be starting on 5000mg supplement of Vitamin D. 

So…like I said I saw Ruth on Tuesday. After I left her on Tuesday I went to meet Reid at the bus stop and suddenly wasn’t feeling well. It hit me hard and fast..the stomach bug. I was freezing cold down to my bones but I was so hot I was sweating. Never a good sign. It was all downhill from there. Before any stomach stuff hit me, the fever hit me first. Unfortunately, I have had to postpone the start of all my new meds because of this stomach bug.

I do think I had it the worst of the three of us because my body is already compromised from the E. Coli and other health problems. There was a day in there where my fever was slightly above 100 and I struggled to keep it down. It was beyond miserable for me… Neither Aaron or Reid had a fever, but they didn’t have infections to fight off like I did. 

 

Having this stomach virus didn’t do my health any favors as well..that’s for sure. I had physical therapy today. I didn’t go last week…because..well…sick. And I was so tight…All over. It was just insanely painful..in a whole other way than usual the usual painful.

Not just because of the stomach virus but because of my health, in general, this has been a very difficult semester for me. I have really struggled to keep up with my work. At this point, I feel very behind. I keep all my professors in the know about what is going on with my health and they are all very understanding and flexible with the due dates for my assignments…which is great and super helpful for me. But at the same time…it feels like failing. This is just for me personally. I would never judge another person who needed more time on assignments… I, of course, am much harder on myself than I am on others.

I am a perfectionist and an overachiever. I love school so much that I like to say that I’m too school for cool instead of too cool for school. Being behind and struggling like this feels like a failure on my part. Somewhere in my brain, I can hear my logical self saying don’t be silly this isn’t your fault you are doing the best you can. But in my heart, I just feel heavy and disappointed that I let it get to this point. I am that student who finishes all the work first…almost annoyingly early. That’s me. And now I’m struggling to even get my work done at all. Nobody is faulting me for it. Even my academic advisor is on my side, supporting me through this. It’s just hard to feel like I am failing when normally I wouldn’t be. 

It’s yet another part of me that I have lost…along with everything else. This summer I have to rest and take care of myself because in the fall/spring I will be doing an internship and taking classes. I need to be okay enough to do all of that. 

I have no idea what will happen once I start the antibiotics for the E. Coli. I don’t think that will magically cure me…I’m not that deluded. Besides, I probably have another infection underneath of that one. But I am curious to see where this road will lead me…Hopefully to one of better health- physical, mental, and emotional. I look forward to it… and to the possibilities the lay ahead. You know what they say….

image- what doesn't kill you makes you cranky strike out, stronger crossed out, pissed off crossed out, stronger crossed out, grumpy crossed out, stronger (it may take awhile but you'll get there)
image- what doesn’t kill you makes you cranky strike out, stronger crossed out, pissed off crossed out, stronger crossed out, grumpy crossed out, stronger (it may take awhile but you’ll get there)

3 thoughts on “At least you have your health… oh wait.. no you don’t… my bad.

  1. Thanks for this post. Having a chronic, incurable disease is difficult to say the least. I have Hashimoto’s Hypothyroidism and on the good days, it’s easy to forget that my body is eating my thyroid. But when you go through a bad spell. For instance, In the last three weeks, I’ve probably missed a cumulative four days of work due to horrible cramps and all the equally miserable things that happen when your body goes into purge mode (which is a Hashi’s thing, evidently) and horrible allergies (I live in Florida, and everything is pollinating).

    When I emailed my boss telling her I’d be out, my email stated “I’m sorry to be the flakiest flake that ever flaked, but I’m not feeling well.” I had to have THAT conversation with my boss — “hey, my body does this thing where it hates me and doesn’t want me to be functional. I’m trying the hardest I possibly can.”

    Then there are the days where you can’t get out of bed, brain is foggy. I do get “regular” sick a lot, but I think that’s because my immune system is already pretty funky.

    And you are so right, you are doing the best you can. And it still doesn’t feel good enough. You feel bad for being behind with work or school. I had to drop out of grad school when I found out because I couldn’t juggle full time and grad school and a chronic illness. And grad school doesn’t pay the bills — tough choice.

    But I feel you. It’s hard and people don’t realize how hard it is. I envy people who can bounce back quickly after an illness or people that don’t have to worry about taking a pill every day to be functional.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Sorry to be the flakiest flake that ever flaked” LOL… I know exactly what that is like!!! I might have to use that line in the future. It’s perfection.

      For me it was the opposite, I had to stop working and volunteering…just go to grad school. It only pays more in that I have student loans to cover me and my boyfriend helps me with money so I’m lucky on that.

      I don’t know about you but I get pretty jealous of people who can just do anything and everything and then just bounce back from sickness easily. It just makes me feel like I am not enough and that I’m not trying hard enough..Like maybe if I were doing something differently then I would be better faster. Even though I know that’s not really true.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s