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What doesn’t kill you…

that-which-doesnt-kill-you-gives-you-a-lot-of-unhealthy-coping-mechanisms-and-a-really-dark-sense-of-humor-76ca0
Image- That which doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.

I’ve mentioned recently that I have been sick with bronchitis, which is difficult by itself. As someone who has asthma and chronic bronchitis, I can say that it sucks. It always makes me wish lungs were not required to live. I say this from experience… I’ve gotten bronchitis 1-2 times a year for as long as I can remember. 

And having bronchitis on top of IC and migraine and etc is a whole other challenge. 

But what happens when you get a new medication and you have a terrible reaction to it on top of being sick and having a chronic illness? Because that is exactly what happened to me this week. My doctor prescribed me a new inhaler called the Combivent Respimat inhaler…seemed innocent enough. It is a short-acting inhaler that helps to relax the lungs. 

On Tuesday, February 21 at approximately 4:30 pm I used the inhaler and then went to see a friend for a bit. We went to a chill place that is semi-noisy which has been known to give me migraines but I went prepared with ear plugs and my sumatriptan, a prescription migraine abortive. We didn’t stay very long. I took a triptan around 5:30 because I felt a migraine coming on…but I had no idea of what was to come. 

I do have chronic migraines and I’ve had them for many years. But what came next was like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life. I finished up with my friend and went to Aaron’s to eat but by the time I got there my migraine was hitting hard so I got my migraine hat (ice pack to wrap around the head) and laid down. It felt like there was 20 tons of pressure on my entire skull, which I’ve never had before. Not only that but my eyeballs hurt like they were ready to pop out of my head. And even my hair hurt! Yes…my hair… Like each individual strand. 

This migraine made my regular migraines look like fun little headaches…which they are not. -Rachel Bob

I’ve read stories in the migraine community about people’s hair hurting but I personally never experienced it…until now. It was excruciating…pure agony. I have a lot of hair, waist length, and it’s super thick Jew hair. There were a few points where I was just ready to chop it all off because I couldn’t take it. 

Aaron said “How is that possible? Hair has no nerves.” I said “How is anything possible? I don’t know. All I know is what I feel and my freaking hair hurts.” 

Aaron tried to get me to eat. And usually eating helps reduce my migraines but I could not eat because it physically hurt me to chew. At that point, I thought I might have to go to the hospital if this didn’t let up. So I decided if it didn’t improve by morning I would have Aaron take me to the hospital. 

One ‘good thing’, was that during this agony my body didn’t seem to register any other pain I was in… like IC or PFD. I was awake most of the night because I couldn’t sleep due to the tremendous amount of pain I was in and I was going to the bathroom frequently, but this time it wasn’t because of my IC. I think it was because my body was trying to get that medicine out of me. I went to the bathroom at least 10 times which is more than I usually go at night time. And every time I went…it didn’t hurt when I peed. Which was a miracle, but also, I’ll gladly take my IC and PFD pain over the agonizing medication migraine any day. 

Eventually, around 4 am I fell asleep. I woke up around 8 am with a lessened migraine…thank goodness. But I was beyond exhausted. I ended up canceling my day, which was therapy at noon and my class in the evening. Also sometime on Tuesday night when in the throws of that torturous migraine I realized I had a 2-3 page paper due on Wednesday and I was like well I’m not going to be able to do that now. 

I guess fortunately for me, I now have OSWD (Office for Students with Disabilities) Accommodations so that I can turn in assignments late and miss class if I’m in a lot of pain. So I emailed my professor to let him know that I will be turning in my paper late and missing class. It’s kind of “funny” because when I got those accommodations approved I said…yea but I won’t ever use them. And then the very next week here I am using the heck out of them. But with good cause. It’s not like I am making this up.

Because you can’t make this shit up. And it goes on. So then I wake up at 7 am expecting to feel better for my class at 9:30 am and guess what? I’m not better. My eyes hurt so badly I think they are going to just fall out…I can barely keep them open and they are puffy (not swollen shut but puffy). I still had a migraine as well, although nowhere near a bad as it was. But my eyes hurting came with extreme light sensitivity. Along with stomach pains and some vomiting. Okay..well guess I’m not going to this class either. I thought I really might have to go to the hospital. 

So I called my doctors office and left a message. I actually did send my doctor a message on Wednesday as well to let them know what was happening. They called me back a bit later that morning and said I should come in at 2:30. So instead of going to the hospital, I opted to go see my doctor. 

My doctor was shocked that I had a reaction this strong to this particular inhaler because it’s very similar to two of the other inhalers I already use. But I’m not surprised because that’s just me. If there is going to be someone who has a reaction to something that most people are fine with…it’s going to be me. I am so sensitive to everything. It’s a wonder that I am still alive. 

And then today I had my annual appointment at the gynocologist…yay…who doesn’t love that? meh. But I do love my gynecologist, I’ve been with her for almost a decade now. Unfortunately, today was my least favorite visit…were any of them my favorite? lol probably not.This is my first time back in for my annual with the diagnoses of interstitial cystitis (IC) and pelvic floor dysfunction (PFD). 

I had been nervous about the speculum and discussed it with my physical therapist. She told me I can tell my gynecologist that and request no speculum because of the PFD. So I talked to my gyno about it. But unfortunately, I have a history of pap smears that come up as pre-cancerous so she needs to really get in there with the use of the speculum. How can I argue with that? So she used the smallest one they had and it was very small, about the size of her pinky which is drastically smaller than I’m used to.

Unfortunately, it still hurt so freaking badly. And even more so afterward…I am now in the midst of a terrible flare. My bladder is spasming and freaking out. And my poor pelvic floor is just in agony. I know it was for a good reason…but FML. Haven’t I had enough pain for one week??? 

what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-wish-it-did
Image- What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

For those of us with chronic illnesses, this kind of stuff isn’t uncommon. Maybe my week was a bit more unfortunate than most. But this is our lives. It doesn’t kill us.. allegedly it makes us stronger…or so I’ve heard. 

Having a week like mine or even just a day with something more minor than what I experienced, can really set back those with chronic illness in ways that are hard to predict. It can cause flare ups that last extended periods of time or weaken their already weak immune system so they get sick. 

I didn’t even mention the stress of it all. Not just the stress of having the allergic reaction to the inhaler but having to miss my classes, which I hate doing. Stressing over whether or not I should go to the hospital. The stress of not being able to open my eyes or eat. And then going to the gynecologist is stressful by itself. The speculum. The flare. And so on. 

For people with chronic illness, stress is usually one of the biggest triggers. So how do we come back down from that? We have to remember to take care of ourselves. I committed to self-care and continue to do so. And we can all just keep in mind that…

what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-strong-except-bears-bears-will-kill-you
Image- What doesn’t kill you make you stronger. Except for bears, bears will kill you.

3 thoughts on “What doesn’t kill you…

  1. Chronic migraines, yes even my hair hurts or the ceiling fan breeze hurts my head. The microwave beep goes through me like a knife. Difficult to explain, huh? Sorry, you go through this also, it’s pure hell and only those who have it understand. Stay strong and pat yourself on the back for getting up every morning. Hugs, Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is a huge challenge. Battling migraines regularly. But that migraine that was a reaction to my medication was this horrendous monster migraine… it was like no migraine I’ve ever had before and I hope to never experience it again. And it made my regular migraines look like fun little headaches! which is no easy feat.

      Thank you for reading. Sorry you have to go through this, but at least we arent alone.

      *Hugs*

      Like

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