There is a trend going around the world wide interwebs of selecting a word to represent your new year resolution. I like it. It’s simple and poignant.
That being said, the word I have chosen is: self-care
Part of my self-care for the year was starting this blog. This blog is a therapeutic outlet for me to express myself. How else will I engage in self-care?
- Take time for myself
- Ask for my needs to be met
- Eat well/ eat to match my needs
- Enjoy and love my cats (Blinken, Stanley, Marzipan, and Ziggy)
- Accept help from others
- Walk (when possible and I’m not hurting too much)
- Take a bath with Epsom salt
- Read a book
- Get enough sleep
Self-care is important to me as a chronically ill person because I did not get to this point by caring for myself. I do believe that chronic illness impacts people who don’t take care of themselves. Chronic illness forces us to slow down and focus on self-care…which is both beautiful and unfair at the same time.
Having IC and migraines really forces me to take care of myself to an extent. But I can easily half-ass it which is why my health degraded so badly in recent months. I can no longer allow myself to continue on this path of self-harm. Not when I know it just truly hurts me further; it exacerbates my IC and my migraines. I can no longer tolerate it. Nobody should have to tolerate their health going down hill when it can be taken care of by self-care.
People who have chronic illnesses must take care of themselves. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. Chronic illnesses are energy-depleting and life-consuming. Self-care helps us renew our energy and heal our bodies. When we give our bodies time to heal it gives us that extra bit of energy to do the things we want to do in our lives. For me, that is going to grad school, doing school work, seeing friends and co-parenting with my boyfriend. All of these things are really important to me, but when I don’t take care of myself first I take away my ability to do the things I want to do in my life.
Is self-care selfish?
Unfortunately, our society frowns upon self-care. Our culture is all about beauty, fashion and needing more stuff but just mention needing some time to yourself for self-care and people act like you are being selfish and greedy. In a way beauty is a form of self-care, isn’t it? For the people who go to spas or do at home face masks, manicures and so on. All of that is a form of self-care. But I guess because it has a different intention behind it… it means something different. The intention being that I need to look my best because that is what society expects from me at all times. But if I do spa treatments, not to look good, but to take care of myself… that’s selfish. That seems quite backward.
I don’t have time to spend hours and hours focusing on my beauty routine. The best I can do is spend some time focusing on my self-care routine and hope it will help my chronic illnesses. I will not make excuses for needing self-care. Everyone needs some self-care at some point in their lives. That’s not selfish… that’s life.
When we are on an airplane and they tell us what to do in case of an emergency, whose oxygen mask do we put on first? Ours or our children? Ours. Why? Because if we go to put our children’s on first we could pass out from lack of oxygen, putting both ourselves and our children at risk. This might be an extreme example, but this is what self-care is. We take care of ourselves first so that we can better take care of others.
How will I incorporate this one word throughout my entire year?
This one word is not just a word anymore… it’s an important theme in my life. I will make it a tangible thing that it so important to me that I can’t live without it. I have written it in my day planner. Yes, I have a paper day planner…I am a grad student, we need to write stuff down…plus I’m old fashioned. I wrote self-care on every page of my day planner to remind myself what I should be doing every day no matter what is happening. I have goals set…like create a blog, take care of myself, and all the stuff listed above. I am holding myself accountable by having people in my life know that I am supposed to be actively self-caring.
What’s your word? How will you incorporate it in your year?