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A letter to my IC

Dear Interstitial Cystitis, 

You have changed my life in so many ways; both good and bad. I hate to admit that you have done anything good for me. Although, I can’t think of anything off the top of my head at this exact moment.

But you changed my life and that is an undeniable truth. The agony and suffering you put me through is just unbelievable. I miss being able to just go to the bathroom and pee like a normal person. Instead, I have to continually tolerate what can only be described as white hot burning razor blades mixed with shards of broken glass and laced with acid and/or the complete inability to pee altogether because my pelvic floor muscles are so tense that they are unable to release. 

I miss my life. I hate giving up doing the things I love to do. I hate trying to make plans and then thinking I might not be able to follow through because I will be in too much pain. I hate that even on a good day… I’m still in pain. 

So here we are. If this were a game, you would definitely be winning right now. You will not always have the upper hand, there will come a day when I come back at you swinging. But for right now I will bide my time and hope that I can take you down holistically.

Ungratefully yours,

Rachel Bob

This is a personal prompt: Write a letter to your illness or condition, from The Mighty, which is an online community for the disabled and chronically ill. https://www.themighty.com/ 

 

8 thoughts on “A letter to my IC

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it. I think a lot of IC warriors feel similar but we always just feel alone which is why I decided to make this blog so that people know they aren’t alone. Take care and stay strong too!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank you for sharing. For me it is hard to share my suffering with others for fear they just won’t understand. I have mixed emotions as to wanting them to understand to so glad they don’t because I know in my heart that for anyone to really understand this disease they would really have to have it. And I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I pray someday there will be a cure. But then I fear that would be just another pill. Until then my heating pad, pain meds and a few close friends is all I can count on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely understand Trish. It is very hard to share, if you read my blog post called “On coming out” you will read about the struggle I went through in my decision to come out and share this with people. It was not an easy decision. And honestly, this is still really hard for me, I am still questioning whether this blog and announcing it to everyone is a good idea. But then I think about the possible change it could bring. Whether that be…my family makes food I can eat when I go to family events, people who know me or people who read my blog donate to the cause, or just an increase in general awareness. We have suffered in silence for far too long. And until there is a cure or something….I will curl up with my heating pad, pain meds, my friends (aka my cats), and my blog 🙂 and just try my best to spread some awareness. Fortunately I don’t have to leave my bed to do so.

      Stay strong Trish. I hope to see you around here again. It’s important for us to know that we are not alone.

      Like

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